Crest of a Knave. Heraldry Tables Made Easy

The idea for this came up last weekend at our AD&D 1st Edition game. One of the players is a Knight in training, and to cut a long story short, they found themselves at a Motte and Bailey Castle, mixing with a host of Knightly Factions from other parts of the Realm. The players kept on asking me what their Coat-of-Arms were, and I was making it up off the cuff; I didn’t think they would be all that interested to be honest, or I would have  have worked it out before hand, and put some effort into it. I had the basics, but not the detail. So I thought I would make a few Random Charts for everyone to use when rolling up simple Heraldic Insignia. I am keeping it easy here, really basic, there are thousands of great books out there that really get behind this subject, but that is not my intention here... so, on to, the ‘Crest of a Knave!’

A simple breakdown of what’s what.

Sinister is the left hand side of the shield, Dexter is the right. The Field is the main colour that covers the shield, as in, a red rose on a field of green, or a yellow Crown on a Field of red.

So, roll for your Field Colour first,

Field (1d6)

1) Red

2) Yellow

3) Green

4) Blue

5) Black

6) White

Then Roll what’s going on top, and what colour it will be. If you roll the same number for colour, just roll again. Once you know what is going on the shield, i.e. one of the six Escutcheons, simply go to the appropriate chart and roll again. I have provided images for the more complicated ones (courtesy of Wikipedia).

Escutcheons (1d6)( Whats's on top of the Field)

1)      Animal

2)      Honourable Ordinaries

3)      Plants

4)      Crosses

5)      Common Charges

6)      Objects

1)Animal (1d20)

1)      Bear

2)      Boar

3)      Bat

4)      Bull

5)      Crab

6)      Dragon

7)      Eagle

8)      Elephant

9)      Griffon

10)     Hippogriff

11)     King

12)     Leopard

13)     Lion

14)     Medusa

15)     Octopus

16)     Pegasus

17)     Queen

18)     Stag

19)     Salamander

20)     Unicorn

2)Honourable Ordinaries (1d20) (Images are below)

1)      Bars

2)      Bend

3)      Bordure

4)      Canton

5)      Chevron

6)      Chief

7)      Cross

8)      Fess

9)      Flaunches

10)     Fret

11)     Gyron

12)     Label

13)     Orle

14)     Pale

15)     Pall

16)     Pile

17)     Quarter

18)     Reverse Pile

19)     Reverse Chief

20)     Saltire

3)Plants (1d6)

1)      Tree (Fructed)

2)      Tree Withered

3)      Garb of Wheat

4)      Three Trefoils

5)      Heraldic Rose

6)      Fleur-de-lis

4)Crosses (1d8)

1)      Bottony

2)      Crosslet

3)      Flory

4)      Maltese

5)      Moline

6)      Patonce

7)      Patee

8)      Potent

5)Common Charges (1d10)

1)      Inescutcheon

2)      Lozenge

3)      Three Mascles

4)      Rustre

5)      Six Billets

6)      Three Bezants

7)      Fountain

8)      Three Annulets

9)      Star and Crescent

10)     Five Mullets Pierced

6)Objects (1d20)

1)  Anchor

2)  Axe

3)  Arrow

4)  Book with Letters

5)  Chess Rook

6)  Crown

7)  Compass Rose

8)  Candle

9)  Sun

10)     Harp

11)     Keys

12)     Moon

13)     Ship

14)     Snowflake

15)     Stars

16)     Spur

17)     Sun

18)     Sword

19)     Tower

20)     Trident

Honourable Ordinaries

Bars

 

Bend

Bordure

Canton

Chevron

Chief

Cross

Fess

Flaunches

Fret

Gyron

Label

Orle

Pale

Pall

Pile

Quarter

Reverse Pile

Saltire

Things to do in D'Enver when you're Un-Dead

Life gotten you down? Tired of being Turned at every turn? Go west, young Un-Deadling, to D’Enver, where the fun (and the flesh) never stops! D12 places to eat in D’Enver when you’re Un-Dead.

1) Hangout under the floorboards at the Firkin, especially for the nightly gnaw where there’s bound to be a tonne of rib bones falling through the cracks for you to nibble on, plus, you can always snag yourself a drunken customer in one of the alleys outside.

2) The Retired Sailors Home. Not bad, if you don’t mind Rum soaked treats that Smack-of-the-Sea. They’re usually too drunk to put up a good fight, so it’s easy pickings, but they can be a bit toothsome...old age and high seas will do that you.

3) The Cemetery. Not everyone can afford to get buried in D’Enver, that’s only for the Rich. So, if you can evade the guards, you could be suppin’ on royalty and riches! An altogether posher establishment and by far the fanciest, if you don’t mind statues of praying angels watching you eat that is.

                                                                                                                                                   

4) The Swamp. It’ll do, in a pinch. Alligators, rats as big as dogs, the occasional trapper. Yup, if needs must, the swamps an excellent fall-back location.

5) The Pit. If you like the taste of gladiatorial flesh, then the Pit is the place for you. An illegal gambling hole, where armed combatants fight to the death. You can always pick up a good meal here, just stay out of the torch light, and wait for the organisers to throw the bodies into the dark.  Hey presto! Dinner is served!

6) Shady Pines Retirement Home. Aaah, this is the last stop for those wealthy denizens of D’Enver before they hit the Graveyard. Soft as butter, and really melts in the mouth. Not as tough as the old sailors either, despite their similarities in age. These rich biddies and bastards have never worked a day in their lives! But don’t get too greedy, you don’t want to give the game away.

7) The Paupers Field. Not as easy as it sounds, because all the bodies are burnt, and whatever is left is all mixed together before being dumped in the river to be washed out to sea. Plus, there are always a lot more mourners here than anywhere else. High risk for low reward, you might want to think of somewhere else before you dine here.

                                                         

8) The Beach. I hear the moonrise is truly something to see, and, there are always young, Star-Crossed lovers down there, in the dunes, just waiting to be snapped up. Aaah, the taste of young love...sublime, there is nothing quite like it.

9) The Warren. If you like your dinner on the move, then this is the place for you. An extremely dangerous part of town that’s filled with nasties and nee’r-do-wells that are out to rob one another. You are guaranteed a little action down here, just hide in the shadows, and BOOM! Fresh Thief...tasty!

10) The Library. It’s open day and night, and packed with studious young things with their noses stuck firmly between the pages of their books. They won’t even see you coming, just haunt the stacks and pick one at your leisure.
                                                           

11) The Mages College, down in the cellars, not every experiment works out right. This is where they hide the mistakes. If you don’t mind the sharp/tart taste of scorched manna, it’s a great find; no one comes down here apart from the body dumpers.

12) The Sewers. Beggars, down-on-their-luck gamblers, sneak-thieves and roustabouts. They all find themselves down here in the tunnels and crossways beneath the City. Good eating, if not a little, smelly.                                                                 

What's Painted on a Cave Wall

Mysterious lizards...alien technology...recipes for health restoration, and beer. All these and more can be found painted on a cave wall. d30 Table.

1.  Neolithic Art depicting a group of hunters chasing down a herd of two-headed Mastodons
2. A primitive yet factually correct star chart that shows the ways between the worlds
3. A ‘ Create Fire’ spell, one of the earliest recorded versions known to mage-kind
4. A treasure map showing the way to the dinosaurs graveyard
5. A green door, knock twice and enter
6. Drawings of a winged chariot, belching smoke and flame and emitting what appear to be pulses of bright light like lightning bolts

7. A group of hands with six digits on the left and seven on the right
8. A flaming pentagram with an arrow beneath it saying, ' This way to Hell'
9. A giant snake that is eating its own tail
10. An ancient dwarven drinking song, and a recipe for skull-splitting strength beer
11. A piece of music that if played backwards summons a bone demon
12. Strange circles with pointy teeth along the circumference that mesh with other strange wheels of all shapes and sizes. Beneath the 20 by 20 ft creation, are the words Feersum Engyne

13. A life size painting of a knight in ox-blood armour with an open visor exposing three eyes that feel as if they are following you around the cave
14. A long line of women and children holding hands walking into the bowels of some strange humongous bird with long spindly legs and pure white wings
15. Long Horned Cattle with six legs in a stampede
16. The names and dates of people who have visited the cave
17. A cornucopia of multi coloured dots and whirls, drip marks and streaks, but this painting is found on the cave floor, not on the walls
18. The 666 stages of the Horned Moon

19. A Vitruvian Alien from beyond the Black Gate
20. An intertwined double helix pulsing and moving with the mana of the gods
21. On the roof, the god of thunder sitting on a cloud reaching out to touch an outstretched hand
22. Thirteen mages, wearing black robes with cowls obscuring their wicked faces seated at a table, feasting on human flesh
23. Hieroglyphics depicting the great scourge
24. Seventeen Owl Bears dancing in a row

25. A strange looking beastman with long talons locked in mortal combat with a rearing sabre-toothed-tiger
26. A highly detailed drawing of the physiology of a dragon’s wing
27. A colossal lizard walking on its hind legs laying waste to a city
28. An old recipe for a health restorative, everything you need for it can be found in the cave
29. Row upon row of numbers, letters, and strange symbols that eventually equal the number thirteen
30. Graffiti that says 'Frodo lives...'