d6 Wandering Monster Table with added sounds. Batteries not included.

Hey, what’s that noise? Upon closer inspection it’s a…

 

1)     Pitter-Patter-Pitter-Patter-Boo-Hoo

Small, defenceless urchin, with grubby hands, face and clothing, (think of any extra in an Oliver Twist pantomime) crying, wailing, sobbing, begging and pleading for help. Just one look into those big ol’ eyes, and you had better Save vs. Spells or be under the urchins sway. He will worm your way into your heart, literally. He will demand to be carried everywhere as he is supposedly to frail, or ill, to walk anywhere. Once on your back, he is impossible to get off. He is constantly hungry, and will consume quadruple what a full grown fighter would eat in a day. If he doesn’t get food with any regularity (every 1d4 turns) he will cry and scream at the most inopportune moments, like when you are sneaking past the slumbering guard, or snoozing dragon. He will also beg for coins from you, copper is not good enough, its gold or nothing. Again, if his demands are not met, the caterwauling begins again. While he is on your back, his left hand forms into a proboscis that will enter your neck and worm its way to your heart. Once there, a web of needle sharp teeth surround your most vital of organs, and will snap shut if the urchins demands are not met, killing you instantly. The urchin is actually a demonic goblin, that can only be got rid of by handing over all your loot ( a minimum of 10 000gp or it isn’t budging), death, which will of course kill the host, or convincing it that it is better off on someone else. It can also be banished/exorcised by a cleric of at least 12^th level. The urchins clothing is actually a Bag of Holding with double the carrying capacity of a regular one. These urchins have been known to travel in packs of six at a time. The utmost caution should be used when dealing with these demonic waifs.

Urchins

Hit Dice: 5

Armour Class: 3

Attacks: 1 Proboscis (instant death when inside) if used externally as weapon 1d8

Special: Immune to sleep, charm, fire, and cold based spells. Can itself utilise Charm as per 5^th level mage thrice per day

Move: As fast as you do, seeing as you are doing all the work

Saving Throw: As 5^th level Fighter

Alignment: Chaos (Demonic)

2)      Schlooop-Schlooop

A truffle of marauding War-Shrooms, schlooping toward you. Clad in fibrous mushroom armour (treat as leather armour and shield) the protectors of the Ondergrondse Wereld (underground world) are deadly combatants despite their somewhat comedic appearance. They wield poison coated blades made from the spawning bones of the Mother-Shrooms. Every third successful hit by one of these blades and you must Save vs. Poison. If failed, then roll to see what appendage has been effected; it will go limp and useless for 1d4 turns. Upon the War-Shrooms reaching zero HP or below, they will explode, covering those close enough in mushroom goo that replicates the effects of green slime. The usual rules for dealing with this apply. If unsuccessful, the character will schloop into a War-Shroom within 24hrs. If the runny gloop of the War-Shroom is cooked however, it is a healthy and nutritious meal, leaving the characters feeling bright-eyed and bushy tailed, with a little more spring in their step. Acts as a restorative for 1d6hp. Can only be used once though, after that, the body builds up a resistance to it, and in turn does 1d6hp damage instead.

War-Shroom

Hit Dice: 3

Number Appearing: 2d6

Armour Class: 7

Attacks: Bite (1d8) + Poison

Saving Throw: Fighter 2^nd Level

Special: Explode upon death

Move: 8

Alignment: Chaos in a fungoid fashion

3)      Crash-Boom-Bang

A plume (3-24) of inebriated Knights, known as The Knights of Inebriation. Cursed by the god Bacchus, after welching on a drinking game, these Plate mail wearing souses are doomed to drunkenness for all eternity. They roam the realm looking for drink of any kind and will fight for it if need be. Generally harmless, they can be gotten rid of by throwing a wineskin or two at them. However, if no booze is forthcoming, then they draw down and get violent. They are actually 8^th level Fighters, but due to their sozzled state, they fight at half that. There is one special trick that they have up their sleeve. When in hand-to-hand combat, they projectile vomit all over their opponents, striking them in the face, specifically the eyes (a five or six on a d6) in an attempt to blind them. If successful, they make an extra attack that round. If not, the fight continues. If the blood of a knight is consumed, the imbiber will be completely hammered for 2d8 days, making them all but useless to the group. Once sober, they will suffer from the most indescribably painful hangover known to mortals. They will hover at death’s door at 1hp for at least a week or until healed magically by a cleric or imbibing two healing potions.

Knight of Inebriation

Hit Dice: 4 (8)

Number Appearing: 3d8

Armour Class: 2

Attacks: Bite (1d8) Weapon + Projectile Vomiting

Saving Throw: Fighter 4^th Level (8)

Special: Pissed off their heads

Move: 12

Alignment: Drunk and Stupid

4)      Sniff-sniff-sniff-sniff

A canis of Blood Hounds out searching for you and your group. The ultimate tracking animal, utilised by those who can afford it. It is every Bounty Hunters go-to beast. Clearly you have pissed someone off, sometime, somewhere. The only snag, when these are on your trail, you are definitely wanted dead, and not alive. Bred in the Kingdom of Baarl, these Bloodhounds are worth their weight in gold. When they reach maturity they are weighed and sold at 8000 gp per pound. They have been given a taste of your blood and can detect that, much like a great-white shark detects blood in the water. They have been known to track prey from as far as fifty miles away. Not even invisibility can thwart these fiendish trackers. When hot-on-your-heels, they will bay until they harry you down. They do not need a handler, in fact they prefer to work on their own. Once their bounty has been apprehended and defeated, they rip off the head and return it to their waiting masters. When in combat, if the hound deals maximum damage to you, ( a roll of 8 on a d8) its jaws are considered locked, and it has no need to roll again to hit you, doing instead 1d8 damage every round until either of you are dead.

Blood Hound of Baarl

Hit Dice: 5

Number Appearing: 2d10

Armour Class: 4

Attacks: Bite (1d8) + Lockjaw

Saving Throw: Fighter 5^th Level

Special: Tracking

Move: 12

Alignment: Chaos

5)      Pew-Pew-Pew

An auris of elven inclement weather troopers, clad in snow-white armour, wielding light-crossbows, that can’t shoot for shit. They couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn if they were standing right in front of it. However, they can put down massive amounts of fire-power, so you may indeed be hit by something…  The pew-pew noise you hear, is actually elven for, ‘Kill! Kill!’ They tend to get well worked up before attacking and it acts as a kind of war-cry. They are not very dextrous either, and are always banging their heads into doorways and things. They don’t utilise any melee weapons, preferring to pepper the air with crossbow bolts. They are strangely gifted in the quick-art of the reload and can send two bolts down-range in one combat round. Yes, they are that fast, but because of this, they tend to miss. A lot. There’s a 1-in-6 chance you might be hit by someone else’s bolts though, so be careful.

Elven Inclement Weather Troopers

Hit Dice: 1

Number Appearing: 3d6

Armour Class: 5

Attacks: 2 bolts (1d6) per round. If missed primary target, then nominate other player to roll a d6. On a roll of one, they are hit instead

Saving Throw: Elf 1

Special: Not much really

Move: in a gaggle

Alignment: Clone

6)      Whoooooosssshhhhh! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Whoooooosssshhhhh!

You’ve been around the block, learned a thing or two, killed some baddies, looted some gold, caught the clap, grap, and stickleback, and think you’ve seen it all.   But, behold, I give you, Ignus Ursus. The Fire Bear! Like a Polar bear, only hotter, and wielding weapons, and using armour, so maybe not much like a Polar bear at all then. Said to have escaped from the forges of Asgaard, the Fire Bears are a fearsome opponent. Immune to all fire damage, these salmon munching marauders are out for blood, especially if startled in the wild. Trained to use weapons (two-handed swords) or fight with what they have (claws, bite and fire breath) they hire themselves out as mercenaries or blacksmiths to the highest bidder. They use a sort of chainmail that they make themselves.

Ignus Ursus (Fire Bear)

Hit Dice: 6+1

Armour Class: 5

Attacks: 2 Claws (1d4) or Bite (1d8) or fire breath (cannot bite and breathe fire) If not, then one attack by Weapon 1d12 AND Breathe Fire

Saving Throw: Fighter 6th

Special: Breath Fire

Move: 9

Alignment: Roaaaarrrrrrrr (just lie down and pretend you’re dead)

Ignus Ursus are flame belching bears. They can breathe fire each combat round for 1d4. They are also highly skilled blacksmiths, and warriors. They like fish and long naps in the winter.