Wednesday, 3 December 2014

L is for Lair...or Home is where the Hate is

       If you want to set the  mood for your baddy, then where they live is extremely important. Having them take up residence in a bucolic, hey-nonny-nonny setting, complete with windmills and cottages, sends the wrong message. If you want the villain to appear as a hard-man, especially before your players even meet them, then let them lay their hate in one of the following:

In a monastery where the inhabitants fell to darkness and ate one another
In a cave atop a mountain of skulls
In a lair, under a graveyard, accessible through a disused crypt
In an abandoned stone giants fortress
In a series of underwater caves, accessible through the bowels of a sunken ship
In an abandoned tin mine at the heart of the ashen wastes.
In the desiccated remains of a gingerbread house deep in the black forest
Under the bleeding roots of the world tree
On the back of a giant turtle swimming through the void worlds
In a ruined temple surrounded by the carven effigies of fallen gods

In a cave at the heart of a malarial swamp
In an abandoned red dragon’s lair amid the dragon’s bones
In a ruined castle atop a cliff looking out over a storm wracked sea
In an abandoned tower on the surface of the war-moon
In the ribcage of a fallen god
At the heart of the silent void
On a chain of floating icebergs out on the sea of madness
In a tiny city trapped in the tears of a falling angel
Halfway down the bottomless pit, on the left, just ask for Meneer Evil
In a parallel universe accessible through a witch’s eye

In the hollow hills
In the cold, dark, wastes on the outskirts of the known universe where the lords of suffering dwell
In a tower of rotting flesh under a sky of writhing maggots
In a strange world trapped within the pages of a necromancers rambling diaries
On the back of the world-whale swimming in the primordial sea
On an island once used as a leper colony
At the bottom of a cup once used to capture the god-king’s blood
In a hut at the end of the world surrounded by the ghosts of suicides
In potter’s field
In leaking catacombs beneath the plague pits

In a jungle clearing at the top of a long, dark river, at the heart of the elephants graveyard
In the bleached skull of a colossal Tyranadragon
In a black crystal cave
On an island made of skin floating in a sea of blood
In a child’s endless scream trapped forever in the nightmare lands
In an alchemists laboratory
In the dried thorax of the mighty scarab beetle
In a castle of broken bones on the floodplains of the apocalypse
In a fifty story poisonous death’s head mushroom
In a city of hardened glass beneath a lake of bile

In the belly of the beast
In the bottom of the crater made from the fall
In the frozen wastes of the back of beyond
In the eye of the hurricane
In tunnels under a dormant volcano
Somewhere south of here
On the plains of Leng in the shade of an arch demon’s wing
On a perch in the Place of skulls
In an iron Fortress surrounded by fields of the fallen
In a giant kraken’s shell at the bottom of the seven seas

Anywhere where angels fear to tread
At the heart of the blazing, towering inferno
Behind the face in the mirror
In a giant cave behind a waterfall of woes
In a sprawling tent city made from hides of murderers on the banks of the river Alph
In the valley of death
At the centre of a labyrinth made from muscle
In the hollowed-out centre of a giant hangman’s tree
Inside the rusted body of a colossal automaton
In a pyramid of fire out beyond the dune seas

In the swirling hollows of storm clouds
Over the edge of the horizon in the first blush of night
Inside an egg floating on the memory of tomorrow
At a corner table in the back room of a tavern run by vampire assassins
In a secret dungeon under the ruling kings castle
In a colossal wicker-man surrounded by a sea of corn guarded by a scatter of scarecrows
Sitting in the black lotus position atop a red marble monolith that can only be seen out the  corner of your eye
Behind a curtain of freshly flayed flesh at the heart of the eldritch emerald city
In tunnels leading out from the bottom of a disused well
Lying supine on the floor of an opium den run by degenerate gamblers

In a dock-side hostelry for retired sailors owned by an undead pirate king
In a Bedouin tent at the centre of a sandstorm
In a secret cove on top of a limestone pillar hundreds of feet tall
In a floating ship called the Marie Celeste
In a series of interconnecting purple worm tunnels
In a mined out mountain shaped like a troll’s skull
In a wrecked ship, washed ashore, on the skeleton coast
In an ice cavern surrounded by blizzards, giant polar bears, and undead frost giants
In the tomb of a thousand liars

In a fortress built in the likeness of the horned one
On a floating island made from the bones of sea birds and slain albatrosses
In the pleasure-dome of Kubla Khan
In an observatory on the banks of the sunless sea
In a dwelling made from the stalks of diseased wheat surrounded by a plague of locusts
Second black hole on the right, straight on till midnight
On a pile of freshly slain ogres amidst a halo of flies
In a subterranean ossuary made from unicorns skulls


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